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Love and Longing, Richard/Kahlan, PG-14, for CSS Seekeret Zedd

Love and Longing
By Azeri (Jolene)virkatjol
Spoilers: Season 2, Touched and anything up to Touched
Rating: PG-14
Written for the Seekeret Zedd Fanfic Exchange at the Confessor and Seeker Society for the lovely ..*_Kahlan_*..
Special Thanks to Lauren for the Beta-ing it!! You are the bestest to put up with me.

After traveling north most of the day, Richard Cypher looked at his companions to assess whether they looked eager to set up camp. He was feeling drained after being unconfessed earlier that morning and then walking for miles following the blue orb'd compass that was hopefully leading them to their destination, the Stone of Tears. More than anything he was longing to get some time alone with Kahlan. The need to talk to her about what had transpired that morning had become overwhelming. "I think that looks like a nice place to set up camp," Richard said to his friends. "There are some nice trees for shelter and there are plenty of dried sticks and leaves to make starting a fire quick and easy."

"Alright Seeker, whatever you think's best," Zedd replied. The old wizard was weary as well after the days events. He was harboring some guilt for helping to convince Kahlan to go through with the sordid plan. With a warm meal in his belly, however, he was sure that guilt would quickly be replaced and he'd have no trouble sleeping. "I'll scavenge for some food to make us a warm meal. Why don't you take Kahlan and gather some firewood. Cara and I can set up camp." Giving them alone time could prove to be dangerous, but after his interference he thought that it was the least he could do.

Kahlan flashed Zedd a questioning look, but he just nodded at her. He trusted the Mother Confessor to do what was right. She had already proven that she could overcome great temptation and still land on her two feet, even though the emotional drain was evident in the way she was carrying herself. She glanced at Richard and he just shrugged at her and motioned towards the forest. The two of them left the make shift campsite on their search for wood. "Don't take too long now. We don't have that many twigs to last us here," Zedd warned them sternly. Despite his permission he was still making sure they would think before acting, and letting them know that he'd be looking for them if the time exceeded what he thought proper for wood gathering.

As soon as the couple was out of earshot of Cara and Zedd they began to walk closely together. Richard reached out and grabbed Kahlan's arm to stop her movement. "See that fallen tree over there?" he asked her.

"Yes, it looks like it's been down for a while, it will give us plenty of food for the fire," she observed, knowing that he was hinting that they'd done the majority of their job.

"Exactly, now that we are finished hunting for wood, we can talk."

Kahlan was nervous. She didn't know if she was ready to talk. Putting it off, however, might make it worse in the long run. She didn't want him to think that she was so desperate for his love that she would go through with it all. "Yes, lets talk." She let out a soft sigh of resignation. "I'm sorry, Richard. I don't know what else to say…"

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" He turned her to face him. Putting his hand on her head to make sure that she was looking into his eyes as he said the next part. "Sorry for loving me even after I told you that I loved someone else? Sorry for taking advantage of a situation that might have been your one chance to be with the man you love? That is, if you are still as in love with me as I am with you…" Richard held her gaze as his free hand came up and cupped the other side of her face. Kahlan leaned into his touch, thankful that he was so willing to touch her after what had happened.

"Yes, Richard, that will never change. You weren't yourself and I feel so guilty for using you. Annabelle had to command you to make love to me. And I relished the opportunity. Sure I was reluctant at first, but it wasn't that hard for Zedd and Annabelle to talk me into it. I should have said no. It never should have gone that far!" Kahlan tried to pull away from him. They were getting too heated and it was going to escalate quickly from here. She could feel her blood quickening. When Richard started looking at her like he wanted to devour her, she knew she had to do something. "I just… I… I couldn't NOT try. I couldn't let the opportunity pass without knowing in my soul that it was wrong. But I knew when you looked me in the eyes and said that you loved someone else with all your heart-" Kahlan's eyes filled with tears and her hand flew up to her mouth to cover it.

"Kahlan… Oh I'm the one who's sorry.." Richard moved his hands down from her face, skimming past her shoulders and arriving on her upper arms. He held fast as she tried to pull away. "Kahlan I was confessed to her. I couldn't help what I said. But I'm so sorry for it, and the pain that its caused you." He reached around and pulled her into him for a tight hug. She immediately reciprocated and wrapped her arms around him. He began rubbing circles on her back with one had while the other made it's way up to pull her head under his, melding her body with his in the only way he knew that he could. Rubbing his cheek on her hair, he than turned his head to kiss the top of hers. "Kahlan, I love you more than anything in the world." He kissed her head again and continued to speak right into her hair. She could feel his breath on her scalp. "The thing is, what I felt when I was confessed to Annabelle" he heard her draw in a sharp breath and added another soothing kiss, "That's what I feel for you all the time."

That's when she drew her head back so she could look at his eyes again. "What do you mean? Richard, what are you trying to say?"

"The longing for you that I experience everyday. The love that I feel. The need to be with you always. I felt the same when I was confessed. I just felt them for someone else. There was just a new name on feelings that I've already felt. I was familiar with the intensity of the love from confession." The look in her face was full of hope and awe. "I think I figured it all out. Actually, I know that I've found the key." Richard smiled down at her. Looking for any hint that she was grasping what he was telling her.

Kahlan understood his meaning, but she still didn't know if she could believe that it was true. "If you're wrong Richard, I will take your soul. You will be lost forever, unless we then drain me with the Quillion too. Then there will be no more Confessors. I'm the last one. I don't know if I can risk the Seeker and the last Confessor just so we can fulfill the longing we have for each other. To show each other our love in that way would be more then I could ever hope for." Kahlan's hopeful look had been replaced by worry and guilt. She'd been down that path all day. She didn't want to stay the course.

"I know I'm right," Richard said confidently. "I've been to that place. I'm in it now, except I'm not under anyone's power. I'm just me, very much in love with the woman in front of me. The Mother Confessor, her name is Kahlan Amnell, you might know her?" Richard smirked at her, trying to lighten her mood. "Kahlan, it's the truth. We can be together. You can't steal a heart and soul that already belong to you."

"I don't know Richard… To risk all that for just two people…." Kahlan looked at the ground, pondering the things that he had just presented. Richard impatiently reached out and grasped her chin. She looked at his eyes and knew that she was in trouble. Her walls were completely down, and she was weakened by the episode from this morning. Now that he her attention, he slid his hand down the edge of her cheek and over the soft skin of her neck. Cradling her head, Richard used his other arm to pull her in tight. Richard gave her an impish grin and then went for it, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her in ernest. Kahlan's emotions were too raw to resist him again. She gave in to the kisses instantly and began returning them.

Richard was soon begging entrance with his tongue, a wish that she granted without hesitation. Tilting her head so he could devour her mouth more effectively, she brought her hands up to hold his head in place. Richard's hands moved to the front of her confessor dress and tugged at the lacings until he was able to slip it off her shoulders, letting it pool to the ground. Taking her cue from him, Kahlan relieved him of his vest and sword. She pulled at his shirt, yanking it over his head passionately as they broke the kiss. Richard turned his attentions to her neck, kissing, licking and nibbling his way further down. He wrapped his arms around her waist to the hollow of her back, keeping her flush against him. Kahlan threw her head back and moaned at the sensation. She reached for his head and dragged him back to her mouth. She couldn't get enough of his kisses. While he was occupied devouring her again, Kahlan hands moved south, over the ridges of his abs to the laces on his pants. She pulled her mouth free, "Richard…" he went right back to kissing her, "Richard.." kiss "Are you" kiss "sure?"

He pulled back and looked at her. "I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life."

The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to hear. She hoped that he was right. If she took his soul she could never forgive herself but her selfish need of him was driving her to love him completely with everything that she was. She gave him her nod of approval and then finished unlacing his pants. Kicking off his boots, he stepped out of his pants. Richard reached around and undid the laces on her corset, then he pushed her back from him. She started a bit but he just smiled at her and placed a shushing finger on her lips. "I just want to look at you for a minute." Kahlan smiled at him, watching him look at her. She couldn't help but admire his body as well. All the hard planes of his chest and the place where his hips narrowed. She reached out to run her fingers down each side of his hips following the muscles southward. It was Richard's turn to gasp when she reached her destination. "I think we are way past the need for foreplay," he said, flashing her again. She chuckled as he pulled her back to him, their mouths melding together.

Suddenly she felt the ground under her back. Richard's body was covering hers keeping her warm and safe on the forest floor. His mouth began a journey down her body eliciting gasps and moans from both of them. "Richard…" she managed to get out, talking wasn't easy at the moment.

"Hmmm," he mumbled back never removing his mouth from it's exploration of her flesh.

"What are you thinking about?" The words she had said to him earlier came out in a hesitant whisper, she needed to hear him reassure her.

"Pleasing you." They were the same two words he had used that morning. Then, before she could think and bring herself back to the earlier moment he continued, "because I want to and because you want me to." Needing her to see him he moved himself back up to her face, giving her a deep kiss and then pulling back. "Kahlan, THIS, us, right now. It's so right." The smile she gave him at his words made his heart beat even faster. "Each minute I fall more in love with you, and I keep thinking that's not possible. Then you smile at me."

Kahlan pulled him back down to her, reconnecting their lips and tongues. Her other hand reached between them merging them in every way possible. Richard let out a moan of approval and began to move for her. This wasn't going to last long. His mouth made a journey to her ear, whispering into it, "It's ok to let go, Kahlan." That was all she needed. She could no longer hold herself together and a loud bang was heard as her power was released. Richard's release followed right after, he already knew that she hadn't taken his soul. The joy in that perfect moment had made all the hurt and heartache worth it.

He collapsed on top of her, and quickly rolled to the side pulling her body as close as possible while still being able to look into her eyes. Kahlan searched his eyes for the telling signs. "Richard, are you…"

"I'm still me. I told you that you already owned my soul, you couldn't take it with your magic." The look of delight and amazement that passed over her face was one that Richard would hold in his heart forever. "I love you Kahlan Amnell, Mother Confessor." He moved his head to steal a soft kiss from her.

"And I love you Richard. I never dreamed of being able to have this." A tear of joy slipped down her face. He kissed it away, rubbing their noses together and then finding her lips with his again. "I think that we should maybe head back to camp before Zedd and Cara send out a search party, however."

"That's probably wise. Come on," He stood and pulled her up after him, "I'll help you get laced up after I put my clothes back on." Dressing in companionable silence the two of them worked quickly, unsure how much time had passed. When they were done, he grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. They walked back to camp hand in hand barely taking their eyes off each other except to watch where they stepped. As they finally returned to camp, Cara and Zedd both looked up.

A snort from Cara caught both their attention. "Looks like something distracted them out there, Zedd," Cara remarked with clear amusement in her voice.

"Didn't I send you two out to get wood?" Zedd asked

Kahlan and Richard looked at each other and then down at their hands. "Oh Richard, we forgot the firewood…"

"Well I think I can recall exactly where we saw that tree. Lets go back and get some wood." Richard smiled at Kahlan as he started to turn around and pull her with him.

"Why don't you take Cara with you this time my boy, you might find it easier to do your job." Zedd chuckled. "So I see that you finally unlocked the key to loving a confessor."

"You knew there was a way?" Richard accused angrily, "You never told us! How could you…"

Zedd cut him off, "If I'd have told you, it wouldn't have worked. She'd have taken your soul, you had to believe in the method without doubt. My telling you would have left room for doubt." Richard nodded, accepting the explanation. "It sure took you long enough, what kinda Seeker are you anyway?" Everyone in camp laughed at that. Richard grabbed Kahlan for a quick kiss and then motioned to Cara to come with him.

Kahlan smiled at him as he left, already eager for him to return. She would never grow tired of being held by him and was looking forward to their time together. Hopefully most of it would require she be engulfed in his arms.

The End.


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Tags: author: virkatjol, pairing: richard/kahlan, rating: pg-14
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